I was raiding the other night, and something snapped. Some switch in my brain clicked, in a sudden, surprising manner. For the last four years I have played one game, often to the total exclusion of other games. I have spent so many hours on it, collecting items, fighting, and honestly making real and lasting friendships. But as Wednesday night rolled on in the desolate Firelands, as the members of were downing bosses and murdering trash, I realized something. I was done with this game, done with it in a way that I have never felt before. I didn’t want to be in Azeroth anymore, I don’t see myself going back.
Usually, at least I find; when someone leaves WoW, especially in a sudden manner, they do so for one reason: anger. Anger at their teammates usually, but there is also anger at lack of content, lack of progression, their style of play going away, etc. These are usually petty and dumb reasons. However in my case, I felt no anger in leaving the game. No real sudden cause. I have no problem with wiping, even on stupid crap, and I really never get mad while raiding. I for the most part, like the people I was raiding with, and had no real problems with anyone. I just looked up at the screen and felt this weird sensation; I knew I was done.
When I realized this, I wasted no time in making my intentions known. It was received pretty well by the rest of the raid. Better than I thought it would be, as while by no means I am the best raider, I got shit done. There were some people asking me to stay, but I knew this was it. However, I didn’t leave everyone high and dry like a dick though. I raided the next night, as I had signed up for it. If they wanted to replace me I would have been good with that, but they did not. We ended up getting the farthest on Ragnaros we had ever gotten. Something like 3% to the kill. It was honestly pretty damn impressive. Do I wish we had downed Rag before I left? Well of course. But still, it seems more than ever that the guild has the tools and the will to get this dude down well before 4.3 comes out.
Now down to the heart of the matter. How do I feel about leaving this game I gave 4 years to? Pretty…damn good. Now that I am a few days removed from the game, I notice my day opening up, as I really don’t feel like I need to play this game. While it was fun to play yes, at times it really felt like a second job. To get anywhere in the game, you have to spend a lot of fucking time grinding, grinding, grinding. In the end, I do miss it at times. Found myself looking for the shortcut icon a few times over the weekend, to no avail. I am happy though I was able to resist the urge to re-download the game, as my account is active till mid-November.
Also I have been throwing myself back into games I need to play that are not WoW. Like FF9. I am also writing again, as opposed to playing WoW and forgetting to write; which I have done for the last few weeks. No more. No fucking more.
Last thing: I am moving this blog to WordPress. I am teaching myself web design for funsies, and playing around with this blog will help me in that vein.